Queer Agenda

We interview a non-binary gendered person about what it’s really all about.

What about you would people consider “not normal?

“I haven’t felt exclusively male in a long time. When Laura Jane Grace from Against Me! came out, I kinda realized I liked the idea of wearing dresses and more femme clothing. Then I met some people in the local scene who introduced me to queer bands and those bands made me feel more and more comfortable with expressing that. As I got older though, I really have gotten a bad taste in my mouth for toxic masculinity. It’s just something I don’t see myself needing.”

So for you its more of embracing the feminine side of your personality than actually wanting to be a woman?

“I don’t consider myself a trans-woman but I feel more like a woman than I do a man sometimes. I think the label that fits me best is genderfluid. I kind of move in and out of being one or the other. Some days I feel fully he/him. Some days I feel fully she/her. I typically just use they/them pronouns, though, because it’s just easier than telling everyone the one you’re feeling the most that day.”

Does it bother you when people don’t use “they” to address you?

Not horrendously, no. I mean, if I’ve told them and they still use he/him pronouns, then I’ll just correct them. But there are a shit-ton of pronoun options. I don’t even know all of them.”

Can you give me an example of a time someone was mean to you due to your expression of yourself?

“Throughout high school, all my friends were dicks about it. Like, there was a lot of transphobic, homophobic language and it just got me to the point where I just quit talking to them. It kinda sucked, but things are better now.”

 

What would you say to people who are going through the same thing?

“Gender identity is a super personal thing that does lead to a lot of personal problems. The best advice I could give someone is cut the toxic people out of your life and you’d be amazed by how much easier shit gets.”

Do you and your partner ever have trouble with being physically intimate because you both are currently associating with the same gender at the same time?

“No, I really don’t think so. We both have pretty much the same mindset on gender and don’t really let it get in the way of anything like that.”

Do you think more people are associating with genders other than the one they were born with nore more than in the past? Or has this always been the way and we are just finding out about it more because of the internet?

Well, I feel like it could be one way or another, but I would say that people have always been this way. I think that there’s always been just as many transgender people and that it’s just more acceptable to come out and be open about yourself now. But, if it’s true that there are more trans folks now than there were in the past, I’d assume it would be because now it’s less of a taboo conversation. Like, gender and gender identity is an ok topic to discuss and be open about now in the mainstream and I think that’s awesome. I think it’s leading to a lot more people discussing how they feel and figuring out gender for themselves.

How about the view that this is a mental disorder? Do you agree with that?

“No, of course not. Gender is a construct. It doesn’t make much sense that because someone doesn’t agree with a social concept that they’re mentally ill. So when I say it’s a social construct, I mean it like, “Society says boys have to play action figures and girls have to wear dresses” for example. That’s dumb. I think people should be able to wear whatever they want and kids shouldn’t have to live up to society’s expectations on gender. Putting people into boxes is wrong and fucked up but donning labels for yourself is fine I think. It kinda feels validating and stuff.”